How much does it really weigh?
If we made several promises, how do we know what weighs more? Are some promises really heavier than the other? Or, does it boil down to priorities?
Would it be acceptable if we let go of some promises to fulfill others? And if by delicate weighing (provided there is such a thing) tells us one weighs lesser than the other, do we shatter that smaller thing and find comfort of how we have chosen well? Would the damage of such choosing be forgivable? Will that person be able to convince his self that there was absolutely (in all absoluteness that an atom is indivisible) no other way but to let go so “heavier” promises can be realized? Would that be enough to bring comfort on cold nights and eradicate all the what ifs the future might slap on our faces?
If we must shatter one promise to save another promise then tell me why we even made that pact? If a promise jeopardizes the other, then why did we put ourselves inside a battle where people we love can’t help but get wounded?
Is it a simple scenario of biting more than what we could chew? Why do we have to spit on a child’s dream? Why do we have to crush its gentle bones to shape it to our grown-up excuses? Do we have to cause enormous grief to a wife just because we are not open to options that require hardwork, collaboration and patience? Must we let her feel she is alone because we refuse to admit how wrong we are? Because we refuse to understand how she feels.
Then was it really about the promise or the pride you refuse to reduce? Does your loneliness make you feel so entitled you want to hear what you want to hear?
Does your promise to God weigh lesser than other promises?
And do you honestly think (in all honesty your aching heart can muster) that your mother or to whom you said you made a promise to will be happy with your choices? Will it make her smile thinking how you have to lose your own family to save hers?
Was it really about the promise or the selfishness? the nuisances?
You can fool the world and you may even fool yourself for a while, but after all has been said and done, and you know in your heart it was never about the promise (a promise you keep turning into a shield) once it breaks, once you turn around and you see no one but the reflection of your choices – you standing alone and feeling alone – maybe then you’ll know what really matters and how too late it would be for you to do anything and all you can do is die.
Maybe then you’d finally have the slightest hint of how much a promise truly weighs.
Words of Gabby 