A Thousand Things

A thousand things
I want to say to you
Like everyday good mornings
Good night, rest well, sleep tight
Hey beautiful along the hall
How was your day? Did you sleep okay?
Did you learn anything new today?
A thousand things
I want to share
Like funny stories I’ve come across
Great songs, happy songs, sad songs
Good food, nice view, long trips
Victory dances, slow dances, just because dances
A thousand things
Between you and me

One thousand No’s
A thousand more why not’s

Let’s go why not.

/teckpen08.12.18

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Snapshots : 1

I guess I’ll never be able to tell you
how your presence reminds me of freshly picked oranges.

The calming aroma after the nauseous ride
The tangerine like juice that keeps my tactile senses delighted

and I do not know if it’s just me
but lately, I feel you

rolling away from these reaching hands.

What Echoes

Kiev,
I haven’t smelled your sooty air
nor seen your grey skies
What I know of you
is about the women
enslaved to give pleasure to men.
Do you orgasm
when you hear her moan?
Do you not feel the hollowness
in her smiles?
or are you like your sons,
disillusioned
that opening her legs is all
she’d ever be good at?
Kiev, how could a mother
ever let her daughter
tremble in fear?

From ziraM to Pablo Neruda

Let us forget with generosity those who cannot love us. -Pablo Neruda
.

.

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To Pablo Neruda,

how easy it was to say
what a heart refuses to hear.
how easy it was to forget
what a heart does not beget.

is your heart a mirror
reflecting back every tragic thing
love dismisses?

a million times

I tried to stop the swell of tears
in every moment
I remember what he told me

of how some things
are not meant to be.

but here you are,
with all certainty
and all audacity

the words you let to whirl in the wind
whisper-
forget those who’d rather not stay.

but who are you to say
to stop the beating of one’s heart
just because nothing can come out of it.

just because destiny has chosen
a soft spoken girl
who dresses in sharon roses
over someone who gets all her duress
from salt, lime and gin.

With all the hurt I tried to contain,
I don’t think it is fair
for you to ask to let memories go

For I have cries I could not silence
inside of me, so let us weep
for the love we couldn’t keep.

the sweetest downfall

to act like the gesture did not
confuse me at the slightest
to hear myself say what i hate
saying again and again
to see you unaffected
by the things i feel too much for

ah, my blossom…
i can no longer wait for the day of your full bloom

today, i can see reciprocity
is never going to come home.

@Wordsmithereens by Gabryela

Remember, Noli Me Tangere

The basketball brawl between Gilas Pilipinas and Australian team uproared the social media globally raising a debate about who started the so called “embarrasing moment” in the history of basketball.

(Disclaimer: I’m no basketball expert and have no intention of being one.)

For me, the incident has little to do about the sports.

What happened is not something you can isolate to that alone. It can happen to any event, to anyone and to any country.

Imagine being abused in YOUR own nation . A Filipino who works abroad is always respectful and conscious of that country’s regulations, laws and traditions. Take for example our OFWs in Middle East. At some point, we can’t even publicly practice our religion as Christians. That is okay because that is their homeland. As they say, “When in Rome, do as Romans do.”

We may be insulted, belittled and in some cases robbed of our freedom in other parts of the world but touch me not in the islands of Philippines. This is our home. Our HOME.

To let a foreigner mock and insult your brother whether physically or emotionally in a land where your roots sprouted is being weak, hypocrite and ultimately, embarassing.

Some Filipinos have chosen the higher ground saying we could have acted on it differently and maintained the spirit of sportmanship. If you are in a situation where you are so passionate about and to see a small-brained person ruin things intentionally, you wouldn’t even think of acting differently. It was a natural human instinct. Unless you tell me you are god. Well, amen to that.

My supervisor told me (though I know he meant well) if the team acted “more professionally”, the Australian player named Kickert would have been kicked out of the game and we could have a better chance of winning to which I replied, that would have been a smart reaction – only that is being ideal.

Ideally speaking, that would have been the best thing to do but if you are the one on their shoes, believe me, realistically speaking, you wouldn’t have done better.

One day, my sister and aunt were hailing a taxi in the middle of the night. A taxi stopped by and just when my sister was talking to the driver, a rude Caucasian put his head inside the opened taxi window and started negotiating. My sister, feeling alienated, backed away even if she was the first to approach. My aunt meddled like a true Gabriela Silang and told the Caucasian off. Then my aunt told my sister to not let anyone (a foreigner) step on her right and most especially, not in her own country. And I’ve never been more proud.

Some foreigners think they are superior than us just because they came from a first world country. Well, do not take those people take away your pride or make you feel displace in this archipelago.

We, Filipinos, have always been versatile and resilient but do not mistake such qualities for enduring insults and abuses as part of it.

To see some Filipinos bash their own brother is the worst kind. Are we going to pull down our own people, our countrymen, every chance we get? Remember who pulled the trigger without playing blind.

The Fiery Desire for Art

Saturday night, 30th of June 2018, we watched Missing Filemon, a local band, performed 2 meters away from where we were seated. They were thumping, jumping and singing and I have never felt so alive I thought I was flying. Exactly like a line from the song of Eraserheads, “Ako ngayo’y nasa alapaap na…”

That’s my feelings translated into words.

Listening to their beat and rhythm transported me to paradise where nothing is wrong. Nothing is impossible. Only pure music nirvana coupled with the vocalists wits on punchlines delivery where everybody can not resist but laugh. The best part of it all, the band is composed of Cebu local artists who have been singing their heart out, showcasing the culture and places of Cebu (every trueblooded Cebuano can relate to) presenting a punch of societal issues and a kick of life’s struggles.

Then again, the vocalist always throws a line or two that fills the place with roaring amusement. And I was like, “Damn! Is there anything he can not do?”

The band has been rocking for 16 years and how their music never grows old, only more meaningful and more nostalgic.

That night, I heard them say, “We should earn from our art without sacrificing creativity.” That hit me. Hardest. From their song lyrics and now that shift in philosophy.

I love writing. And I can not imagine a life not doing it. Even if people do not believe in what I do, I can not just walk away. Even if an English proficiency exam tells you otherwise, you struggle still to write. Even if it may mean being alone for the rest of my life, I’d still write.

I know someone who writes poetry in a prolific manner but refuses to sell nor earn from it. He told me he doesn’t intend to earn monetary value for the thing he loves the most. I nodded and thought maybe it is passion. And, it is the sole fuel for everything he did and does and a true artist would say and believe the same thing.

Lately, he has kind of stop writing because “life happens.” By that, he meant he is busy with life’s demands like rent, medication, bills and basically adulting and it is sad.

It is sad to stop doing what you truly love. When you know what you are good at yet here you are, doing things you hate because you refused to earn from your art.

I do not want to meet another artist who is slowly losing what made him happy. I want to be with people who believe in their craft and think of ways to look at life in the eye and say, “F*ck you! I’m going to be an artist. Even if it kills me. Do your shittiest ways and I’ll outbest you with flying colors.